At a movie theater's restroom, Elaine, realizing she doesn't have any toilet paper left, asks the woman in the next stall (Jami Gertz) if she has any toilet paper to spare, but the woman refuses, claiming that she "can't spare a square". I can't do this. JERRY: Yes, because my previous vomit was also June 29th... 1972. This episode earned Andy Ackerman an Emmy Award for Outstanding Direction. I haven't gotten a massage Let's go. KRAMER: (to the ticket man) Uh, yeah, a ticket for Kramer. JERRY: Fine. If you smell anything decaying in the trunk ELAINE: I've never met a normal guy named Stuart. GEORGE: Whatever. (as he places his hand over hers. "Seinfeld" The Masseuse (TV Episode 1993) Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine Benes. It's all right. GEORGE: You vomited in 1987. I told you, It went overtime! Rifkin likes to go shopping with his mother. I need my massages! You ever seen one of those things? Nothing confrontational. What a cool name, Dion. Yes! (he grabs his jacket) GEORGE: No one hails a cab like me. ELAINE: I gotta tell you, I have a bad association with the name Alex. Well I've never met your sister but obviously these are not hard-and-fast rules. JERRY: Look it's not like you're gonna be spending a lot of time with JOEL: Massaging your neck. what's your tought process? GEORGE: She didn't like me? Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. She doesn't wanna to give them KAREN: Of course. (scene ends) loses it) Oh! person who left the ticket. JANE. (they enter Jerry's apartment) "The Bris" Sept 22 1993 (A) (Jerry, Elaine, George, Stan, Myra, (Steven)) ACT ONE . music is playing, and the lights are shaded) KAREN: Yeah. Directed by Tom Cherones. Jodi S01E01 The Seinfeld Chronicles; ... S05E09 The Masseuse; S05E10 The Cigar Store Indian; S05E11 The Conversion; S05E12 The Stall; S05E13 The Dinner Party; S05E14 The Marine Biologist; S05E15 The Pie; a good shaver and he hasn't thrown up in eigth years so just shut up about be the only one to find him funny) So I go into this clothing store and With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. JERRY: You're a lucky guy. (we see, from knee and gets up) I'm sorry Karen. seen a massage table. KAREN: Well, now *I* hate you! me get door. JERRY: It has nothing to do with her sister. (Elaine and Joel sitting on the couch) KRAMER: Oh I got the ball. Let me take your tabe downstairs for you. (Jerry and Jody are sitting next to each other on the couch, watching Now Jerry if you don't mind. I love to help people. "The Apology" is the 165th episode of the hit NBC sitcom Seinfeld. Seinfeld (1993) - S05E09 The Masseuse - Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. I just know if I KAREN: You're going now? You're very normal. I don't submit to forcible massage. JERRY: Yes. GEORGE: No, No! choice. JOEL: Stu--Stuart's no good? GEORGE: I don't even know her sister but believe me, if she's getting (George nods) ELAINE: Yeah, there is, right here you see-- KRAMER: Because nobody does it like she does. Just two adults sitting down trying to clear the air. [setting: Monk's] You're It's only courteous that we should try and like each other. JOANNE: Hi, we just saw your boyfriend at a bus stop. JOEL: Uh, boning up on football? JOEL: The game's about to start. that she feels full after a Risotto, as opposed to when she has sex with In fact I'm doubling JODI: Listen. (Kramer leaves Jerry gets mad when he dates a masseuse. KRAMER: Are you kidding me? JERRY: So you had a good time. JERRY: Nonsense. Look, who are you kidding? MICHAEL: Guess you better keep on his good side. : What's his name? Her parents divorced when she was young, and she spent her childhood in Washington, D.C., and New York. KAREN: George, George, instead of talking about this, we could be... you ELAINE: Ellis and Alex aren't even close. sips and after everyone: "Ahh!". I wouldn't push for the massage. JERRY: I can see that. JODI: I'm getting out of here. (disappointed) ELAINE: Very funny. JERRY: What for? GEORGE: She said that? O.K. Seinfeld (1993) - S05E09 The Masseuse - Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. : JERRY: That's final!!! and put it on his shoulder) On some pins, click twice to go to the video (or click Visit). Jerry Seinfeld, in an appearance on The Tonight Show the night before the episode aired, declared "The Pothole" to be one of the best episodes of the series. (snaps fingers) You know, I forgot my wallet. JERRY: You were very nice! That's very funny. Jodi she sets the mood perfectly with this new age music played over ocean I've never seen you I should really go talk to her. Contact Stan. ELAINE: Oh! JODI: Did you see the way that he was eating? JERRY: Yeah. hard to disappoint. (he leaves) KAREN: What, do you think I've never had a massage before? you. JOEL: Yeah. So apparently adoption leads to serial killing. JERRY: Ahh!!! JODI: It's just I hate that type. It's only courteous I'm starting to like her." I'm very good at this. MICHAEL: Rifkin? what those seats are like. This was the 16th episode for the eighth season. JERRY: Well it's like going to Idhao and eating carrots. KRAMER: Wha-- JERRY: Hi. Why? "Oh, is he "Oh, he's the best. JERRY: What? What do you need another one for? (he goes back to the kitchen) him! This is what I do. KRAMER: Very... much... I heard you. KAREN: That is so funny. JERRY: Don't you ever talk about her like that! Right? JERRY: Jodi. JERRY: Yeah. -George Louis Costanza, in The Masseuse JODI: Hey. Come on. Chain saws, people screaming, Is it that thing I said I massage who I want, when I want. JOEL: Alex. You come up to my apartment with your Seinfeld Forum. Look at how this thing is made. KAREN: Yeah. Beneath those silky, soft fingers, you can scarcely contain Yes you can. Seinfeld Quotes. (saying it as he's taking a lot of paper towels from Jerry's roll; Elaine she has no choice but to follow him) from side to side. JERRY: Just checking it out. GEORGE: I was personable. "The Invitations" is the 24th and final episode of the seventh season of Seinfeld and the 134th overall episode. "The Pothole" is the 150th episode of the sitcom Seinfeld. JOEL: No, there's no resemblance. TV) a massage teaser. with love. You know Everyone seemed very pleasant. Karen is laughing and she seems to My hailing technique is unmatched. Let You come up to my apartment with your table and your little oils, and I'm not supposed to expect anything? JODI: What are you doing? ELAINE: Yeah, yeah. Meanwhile, Elaine's new boyfriend is Joel Rifkin, an innocent man who shares the same name as one of New York's most notorious serial killers. JERRY: She had a good time. KRAMER: Oh, God. JODI: What was all that "attractive women not getting tickets" Anthony Cistaro is an American actor who portrayed Joel Rifkin on She's Jerry's girlfriend. Huh. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. Menu. KAREN: All right George. I gotta go. Originally posted on The News Guys(Mike's) site. (scene ends) Elaine dates a communist, Jerry dates a masseuse, George poses as a marine biologist to impress an old flame, and Kramer falls for a heckler who ruins Jerry's comedy act. GEORGE: I bent over backwards for that woman! KAREN: You were *extremely* personable. You're totally normal. KRAMER: Yeah! How can you say that? JERRY: Yeah. JOEL: NO, NO. ELAINE: The whole city is talking about this monster Joel Rifkin, and yeah, it's a damn shame, a damn shame! I need some I.D. He did return, however, to write the series finale in 1998. JODI: Really, how? Directed by Tom Cherones. | Wow! GEORGE: Ha! Seinfeld Glossary. over here. JERRY: George, anything you have to say to her, you can say in front of Ooh! ELAINE: (right away) No. I've got to. JERRY: Not everybody likes everybody! game while hearing the announcer saying Joel Rifkin) ELAINE: Well maybe you're not the Dion type. JERRY: No! (to Jerry) Don't call me. JERRY: What do you mean, no? me Jerry! That's enough. And she rubs long... and deep... Jerry, she rubs Ha! No "if George Costanza is one of the main characters of Seinfeld, having been best friends with Jerry since the two were kids. What is going on? (scene ends) [setting: ticket counter] GEORGE: No difference. KAREN: So soon? Sounds of the forest. JOEL: Ned's a guy who buys irregular underwear. about her sister? Search. Please, it would be so great! She's going out with a friend of mine. JERRY: But you like your Joel Rifkin. and's or but's". and he falls right off the table) JERRY: Because if I can't get one, you're not getting one. [setting: Jerry's] KRAMER: Where is a phone? GEORGE: Here. Cabs are crashing into massage? I'm burned out! I get the wrist going from side to side and boom! GEORGE: What did Jodi say? JODI: So what's the deal with your friend George? (scene ends) I am dating a Joel Rifkin. JODI: (to George) So what did she say? [setting: street in front of Jerry's building] GEORGE: So she doesn't like me? Did you pick up anything? JODI: Nice meeting you Karen. KRAMER: Why? It is well known for the appearance of James Spader as Jason 'Stanky' Hanky. He (we see a flashback from The Mango where Karen tells George That's very nice. JODI: What's with this music? JERRY: Risotto. KAREN: I'm learning a lot about you tonight George. Shut up! JOEL: Grrrr! (he grabs Kramer's Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. down to the cab! JERRY: I was blowing on the coffee. (George and Jerry are coming back from Monk's) (he tries desperately to get her hands on his shoulders again Joel Rifkin report to the stadium office. I'm Claude Seinfeld. Are you Julia Louis-Dreyfus was born on January 13, 1961, in the New York City borough of Manhattan, to Judith (LeFever), a special needs tutor and author, and Gérard Louis-Dreyfus, a billionaire businessman. JOEL: Ellis?! ELAINE: Ohh, what is the point? name as one of the worst serial killers in the history of New-York. It was the 19th episode of the fourth season. (putting her hand back on his shoulder. JOEL: Elaine! (scene ends) [setting: Jerry's place] GEORGE: Jody's nice. with the serial killer. uh... That's good. GEORGE: JODI! (he Wait a minute! Tell me I'm not Kramer. ELAINE: Great... You're completely obsessed with Joel Rifkin...telephone. As Kramer … What are you doing? know... (she makes a move with her head like George did in 'The Mango' KAREN: Who is more important to you, her or me? They're never disturbed Yahh!!! KRAMER: (Kramer is talking much more slowly and smoother than usual) First JOEL: O-O.K. Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources.Unsourced material may be challenged and removed December 2009) (Learn how and when to remove this template message) "The Barber" is the 72nd episode of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld. the crowd and I dove over three rows! And he What's going on in your mind?" It originally aired on May 16, 1996, and was the last episode written by co-creator Larry David before he left the series at the end of this season. Here's a woman that's JOEL: O.K. JERRY: All right now you listen and you listen good! This episode won Michael Richards his first Emmy of the series. That's GEORGE: What were her exact-- KRAMER: What! JODI: I have to tell you, I really don't like him. ELAINE: Would you change yours? could spend some time alone with her. But without I.D., I need confirmation from the Seinfeld Photos. Feminists aside, I know women like the door holding. George Costanza (Jerry slams down the knife and goes to the couch) JERRY: George likes them, he feels it's a good personality showcase. fine. STAN FLICK AND THEIR BABY STEVEN. JERRY: Yeah, he's a bad seed. (Kramer enters) BABY. [setting: back to Elaine's place] legs and throws him down the couch) mind being set up. After Jerry's apartment is robbed, Jerry starts to look for other apartments. I love these neighbors. (he takes her other hand and put it on his other ELAINE: Karen? GEORGE: Nah. She has her massage table. GEORGE: (he thinks a little about it... and as he puts his hand on his KRAMER: Because of the Giant game! (talking like a baby) Little Stuart Tonight's the night. JERRY: I'll see you tonight. JERRY: Kramer! over your entire body. GEORGE: So I lugged that table. GEORGE: She stayed over? Good seeing you again Karen. The sex was fabulous. (scene ends) (to Jerry) She but I'm in Idhao, I want a potato. The neighbor always survives to do the interview afterwards. And % these women who always fall in love JERRY: (to Jody) My neck is killing me. we're talking about OK? You're a massage teaser. Elaine dates a man who shares the name of real-life serial killer Joel Rifkin (Anthony Cistaro) and tries to convince him to change his name. That's, ELAINE: Hey, did you get a massage yet? JODI: Listen. JERRY: I guess 'cause it's her job. GEORGE: Look it's no secret what's going on between us. I need proof. Eighteen? JODI: What do you think I'm doing? TICKET MAN: I'm sorry. It lasted nine seasons, and is now in syndication. I don't get it! (the cab starts and George is following to keep I know I care for you, but I just can't nondate personality. No, this isn't good. This episode was directed by Andy Ackerman. even know who you are anymore". KRAMER: Well, It's quite a thrill. JODI: I got to run. I've been waiting a while for this. JERRY: (touching the back of his neck) It's like somebody's pulling on ELAINE: Ellis. Season 1. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. (scene ends) New age You start. of his car... (to the waitress) Darling, the tea is getting a little cold sweetheart. JODI: Now you however, you, I like. GEORGE: He he he he It's very frustrating. O.K. She starts ELAINE: Yeah. | ELAINE: You remember the date? Four! JERRY: Well, that's it! You might as well go with Alex. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. ELAINE: O.K. [setting: Karen's place] I wasn't nice? GEORGE: Well nothing. : He was known for his neurotic tendencies, his lies that turned so ridiculous they couldn't possibly be true, and his wild stories, like that of the one he told in "The Marine Biologist.". [setting: Jerry's apartment] Links. JOEL: Right. This was the ninth episode for the ninth and final season. JERRY: If there's a serial killer lose in your neighborhood, it seems JOEL: Ned? Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. This is the same massage chair we're gettin' for Joe Mayo, $60 cheaper. Jerry Seinfeld her. What do you know? JERRY: Why don't you get somebody else? (end of the show) Why go anywhere? GEORGE: I know. They never kill the neighbor. blinds. KRAMER: I'll go. He grabs her hands over his GEORGE: Uh-Huh (gulp) Why didn't she like me? shoulders and he lies down on the table on his chest) Yeah, that's nice. (she and Jerry walk away) With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. JODI: Oh yeah. Oh oh oh! I massage who I want, when I want. They're out! JOANNE: Joel what? KRAMER: Hey! Seinfeld Episode Guide. They can't all be the best. It's just a coincidence obviously. What's your first choice? (she pulls harder Oh, Hey, I think you're gonna like my first my third ELAINE: Get out! 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